Look, I don’t know what I’m doing here either. All I know is I got tired of people telling me to write a book, do stand-up, start a blog, something because you’re not supposed to be funny at people for free apparently. Well, I’m so very sorry. I was only trying to improve your day. I’m also nerding out over formatting options the like of which Facebook will never know, because Facebook is what one of my Grandmothers would call “a classless whore.” The other Grandmother would probably ask if that’s what we call Yearbooks now because in her day they called them “The Bible” and everyone in your family’s name got written in the inside cover and God forbid you lose it and not know how you’re related to anyone at holidays anymore. “Thank you for the lovely sweater…… Aunt Fran, was it?”

I haven’t really decided what this is about yet. Probably idiots I wish would leave me alone. My parents don’t know me very well, but even my mother will tell you when asked that all I’ve ever wanted since I was six was “for people to leave me alone.” So maybe if I write a little bit every day, those of you who’ve been bugging me to do so for the last however many years blogs have been a thing will finally shut up. Thanks, you jerks, I’ll try not to let you down.


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